Comely Bank
by Mithua
Summary: Percy's life is completely changed when he meets a Quidditch Superstar, otherwise known as Oliver Wood. Parody of Notting Hill. SLASH: PW/OW! Please R/R!
1. Percy's Life

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and co don't belong to me, they belong to the great J K Rowling.

A/N: I always seem to be getting ideas for stories while I'm in the middle of writing one huge one! Oh well! Just to tell you all, that I saw Notting Hill again and I just thought it'd be perfect as a Percy/Oliver story! So, here it is! Hope you all like it! And if you don't like it…well screw you!... Ack! Only joking! I didn't mean that! That's just my twisted sense of humour getting the better of me!

Spoilers: Probably all the books…and the plot to Notting Hill!

Warning: Hehehehe…there's going to be Slash! Yay! So all of you who don't like slashy stuff should probably go read something else (like my non-slash stories ::hint hint::)!  Oh and if you start flaming me because of slash…I'll probably just tell you to grow up…because it's sometimes really sad how people are so anti-gay…and this is just a story! 

Ack! I ranted again! I really need to stop doing that!

Thanks so much to my best friend Pippin. She came up with the title…I've been asking her all week to come up with a title…and she came up with this! So…praise her!

_This is dedicated to Percy/Oliver lovers everywhere! And every one who reviews this story! Because if you do, you simply kick immense ass! __J_

***

Comely Bank.

By Mithua.

Chapter 1: Percy's Life.  

Percy Weasley. Whenever any one actually thought of him, they thought of the quiet studious red-head, the prefect, the head-boy.  The living example of a model student, clearly on his way to success.  Anyone would have though he'd had the perfect life…a loving wife, with Percy jrs reading books and doing well in school, and a very well paid job at the Ministry. Well…life didn't exactly turn out to be perfect for Percy.

It was true; he managed to get a job at the Ministry. But every one saw that beforehand. After that unfortunate incident with Barty Crouch, just one year into the job, Percy had to take the role as head of The Department of International Co-operation. Quite a task for a young wizard as himself. Being the head of department, you'd think he'd be paid quite a lot, but the money was just enough to put food on the table, which was good enough for Percy.

Family-wise, Percy was single. No wife, no kids. Everyone was so sure that Penelope Clearwater would end up as his spouse; however, things had never tuned out the way they had planned. However, they were still the best of friends and kept in close contact.

Percy lived in Comely Bank, a small muggle community, in Edinburgh. In a rather homey terraced house with a blue door. The only blue door in the area. He shared his home with a muggle girl. Helen Boot. Her brother, Terry had gone to Hogwarts, so she knew about the magical world. She was like an annoying little sister to Percy, and she did have her moments when she would just be a moody bitch but that was only during 'that time of the month' so Percy couldn't really blame her.

So all in all, you could say that Percy's life wasn't exactly perfect, but normal. As normal as normal lives could be…

***

Percy apparated home after a long day working at the Ministry. He was exhausted. And frankly quite annoyed. A new employee had messed up all his files and it took a good three hours or so to fix the problem. And then his secretary, Gwen had pointed out that he was going to be late for his meeting. Something about an International Quidditch team coming over for the World Cup. He really did not want to have to talk Quidditch to the Ministry members; however, it was his duty as the head of the department.

Percy climbed up the stairs tiredly, and wasn't startled to hear moans of pain, coming from his bathroom. He gently tapped at the door.

"Helen? Are you ok?" He asked. He heard some more moans and the toilet lid come down and flush. The door opened to a much disorientated looking blonde.

"I feel like shit Perce…" she groaned and clutched at her stomach. In Percy's opinion, she looked like shit too. Her blonde hair was tangled in knots, her skin looked grimy and that pained look on her face didn't make her the most attractive girl in the world.

"Well, you don't look so well either. You should go and clean yourself up and I'll make some dinner. What would you like?" He asked her.

"Get me something from the chipper. Don't just magic it up…because frankly, your cooking skills are shite," Helen muttered and closed the bathroom door. 

Percy frowned a little. His cooking wasn't that bad. But he had to agree, he preferred Helen's cooking than his. He went to his room and dressed himself in muggle clothing. As he headed down the stairs, Helen opened the bathroom door.

"Oh! And get me some tampons and pads! This period's being a bloody nightmare! And no pun intended!" She shouted.

Percy called back an incoherent reply and headed outside. He walked around the corner and said short hellos to his neighbours. The local chipper wasn't too far and he knew Helen's order off by heart. Helen always craved greasy food during her time of the month, and she always ordered the same thing. If she didn't get everything exactly as she wanted, she exploded. Percy laughed a little when he remembered how the new worker in the chipper had got her order wrong. For the next three weeks, he didn't have eye brows. 

After ordering their meals, Percy made a hasty visit to the store to buy Helen's 'essentials.' When he got back home, Helen was sat at the living room, her hazel eyes watching the TV with uttermost interest. She was watching a football match, Manchester United vs. Newcastle United. Apparently, they were both very good teams. But Percy never actually kept track of muggle sports, but Helen often kept him posted. She saw him enter and smiled.

"Great match this is! Only 10 minutes to go and then we'll see who wins the Premiere Cup!" she said excitedly.

"Fun." Percy commented, not really sounding that interested. He gave her her chipper meal, which she took gratefully. She seemed to feel a lot better than she had felt before. She wolfed her meal down, whereas Percy ate his meal in a more civilised manner. 

After dinner, Percy started on some papers that he needed to do. He nearly jumped out of his desk when he heard his owl Hermes hoot at him. Hermes had become quite old; however, he was as good as ever, and a lot more reliable than their old owl Errol. Percy took the letter from him and opened it.

_Percy,_

_How are you dear? We're all fine here, although I'm trying my hardest to keep your father here. He constantly wants to visit you and experiment with your 'muggle gadgets.' Ginny's fine, she loves her job at the Daily Prophet. She can't wait until tomorrow's papers come, her article is coming on, on page 2. Be sure to read it! Talking of Ginny, her birthday is coming up next week, and she'd like all of us to be home for her birthday. Bill and Charlie are coming too, so I'm sure you can come. This is not a request! You HAVE to come home on the 23rd November. Be sure to bring any friends! The more the merrier!_

_Lots of Love,_

_Mum xxx_

Percy sighed. As much as he loved his family, he didn't actually like going to family events like this. This was more of a reunion, than a birthday. He'd have to find a good book that will last him a VERY long time. And that was usually difficult, as Percy was a rather quick reader. He quickly replied saying he would come and continued with his work.

"Hey Perce! Want to go to the pub?" Helen called from downstairs.

"No thanks. Got work to do." Percy replied, and inked his quill.

"More bloody work? Oh come on, have a break!" she sighed.

"I'm sorry, but I really need to do this!" Percy called back.

"Percy Weasley! Get you workaholic arse down here right now! I promised Penelope that you'd be coming and you know me, I never break promises!" she yelled.

"Well, this is going to be the first promise you break then!" Percy yelled back.

"Oh no it isn't!" she shouted and started to stomp up the stairs. She walked into Percy's study and grabbed Percy's free arm, tugging hard at it. Percy remained on his chair, but looked slightly annoyed. You would've thought that a tough tomboy like Helen would be able to get slim Percy off his chair, but Percy seemed pretty adamant.

"Percy! Don't make me hurt you!" Helen tugged again warningly.

Percy would have used magic to block her out. But through all his years living with her, he knew it would just be the easy way out to use magic on her. So never once had he used magic on her…well…sometimes to make her shut up, and to annoy her, but other than that, no other reason.

"Percy! Please…come with me this one time, and I'll…I'll find you a date!" Helen said.

"Helen, firstly I don't want to go to the pub, and secondly, I'm not looking for anyone right now, so I really don't care." Percy replied.

"Percy…please?" Helen finally pleaded.

"Ok then." Percy smiled and started to get his jacket.

"What?" she said starting to look shocked.

"I said, I'll go with you to the pub." Percy replied whilst putting on his jacket.

"After all that?" she said.

"Well you said please. You _never say please to me." Percy said and headed out. Helen just looked on, with a slightly bemused expression to her face._

"You coming or not?!" Percy called. She just smiled and together they headed towards the pub.

True to her word, Penelope was sat at a table waiting patiently for them. She sat there with her husband, Warren. Warren was a muggle, but knew very much that his wife Penelope was a witch. It was a bit of a shock to find out that his blind wife had magical powers, however, he loved her all the same. Penelope herself had been Percy's girlfriend, however, she wasn't the love of Percy's life, more like a best friend. However, she had been in an accident last year, so bad, that she lost her power to see things, and was therefore blind. She had met Warren by the accident, and he was the last person she saw before she became blind. No Medi-Wizards had found a way to cure blindness, so Penelope wouldn't be able to see for a long time. She didn't let that fact bother her though. She was just the same as before, and she could often picture everyone in her mind.

"Percy! Helen!" Penelope sense them and reached out to give them a hug.

"Hi Penny." Percy greeted. He shook hands with Warren. 

Together, the four of them talked about how they were and any future plans that would be happening.

"By the way, you're all invited to Ginny's birthday on the 23rd." Percy informed them.

"Oh…I can't make it on the 23rd. I've got to go meet my new nephew, Terry won't shut up about him, so I better go and visit this bundle of joy." Helen told him.

"We can make it though. Can't we Warren?" Penelope's pale, milky blue eyes turned to face where she sensed Warren.

"Yeah, should be fun meeting all you family," Warren told him.

Soon enough, Penny and Warren had to leave so Helen and Percy said their goodbyes. Soon afterwards, Helen said she was going to go and rent a movie to watch. So ordered one last drink. But as he turned around, he knocked into someone, spilling his drink all over that someone.

"Oh…crap! I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there! That was my entire fault…" Percy started to apologise.

"Percy?" said a voice. Percy looked at the person for the first time.

It was Oliver Wood…Quidditch Superstar.

***

A/N: So…how was that? Please review! Reviews are a girl's best friend (forget the diamonds)!


	2. Meetings

Chapter 2: Meetings 

"Oliver?!" Percy couldn't hide his shock. Ever since they had left school, Oliver had been working hard at his Quidditch and made it on one of the top league teams. He had become a celebrity in the Wizarding World, and it was often very hard to just bump into Quidditch players out of coincidence. Percy looked at Oliver and saw those same deep brown eyes looking at him, the same brow hairdo, but a slightly buffer body.

"Percy! Long time no see!" Oliver said cheerfully, taking no note of the spilled alcohol down his front.

"Uh…yeah." Percy managed to say.

"Want to have a drink with me? I'll buy you one seeing as I'm the reason you have no more drink." Oliver said, "You just go sit down somewhere, I'll be right back." He said and went to order the drinks. Percy just stood there shocked for a while but then went to go find seats. He sat down and watched Oliver order their drinks. He took out his wallet and fumbled with some of the money. Shortly afterwards, he joined him.

"It's a bloody nightmare handling muggle money!" Oliver commented as he sat down. He took a swig of his drink.

"What are you doing here?" Percy asked all of a sudden, he must have sounded rude, but he was just too curious. Oliver looked at him for a second then replied.

"I'm up visiting my granny, she's fallen a bit ill and I just came up to see if she's ok." Oliver replied truthfully.  

"Oh, I hope she feels better soon." Percy replied.

"So what have you been up to Percy? Surely you work in the Ministry?" Oliver asked, diverting the conversation from him.

"Yeah, I work in The Department of Magical Cooperation." Percy replied. He shifted on his seat and took a gulp of his drink. He couldn't help but feel a little nervous around Oliver. At school, he had been a little bit attracted to the older boy. Now, he was more handsome than ever and he was famous. A famous Quidditch Star. And it didn't help that there was still a stain as to where Percy had spilt his drink on him.

"The Department of Magical Cooperation? That's a well good department to be working in. Not as rowdy as some, but not too small and quiet. You must like it there." Oliver smiled at him. That smile did it. Percy saw that it was still the same Oliver he knew so many years back, just a little older.

"Yeah, it's quite good. Pay wells too, enough to go from day to day." Percy replied, starting to feel relaxed.

"So, do you still play for Puddlemere?" Percy asked. 

"Yep! I'm damn proud to be in that team. We're higher in the league and many of the players are qualified for the Quidditch World Cup! They'll be choosing the players within 4 months, seeing as the World Cup is coming up in about a year's time." Oliver grinned and took the last swig of his drink.

The two old friends sat in the pub for a while, just catching up on news of each other and remembering their old school days. Percy looked at his watch and was shocked to see that it was already 10.35pm. Time just flew by.

"I better get going now. I need to be up early tomorrow for work. It was nice seeing you again Oliver!" Percy said and put on his jacket.

"Yeah, it was nice seeing you too. Maybe we'll bump into each other some time soon?" Oliver asked as he put on his jacket also.

"Yeah sure. I'll owl you." Percy smiled and then looked at Oliver's stained jumper. "You might want to clean up though; you'll get some suspicious looks from the police if they see you wandering the streets smelling like alcohol." Percy stated.

Oliver looked down and then whispered an enchantment. The stain was gone and it seemed like he had never been near alcohol. The two men headed outside and walked in opposite directions, each thinking their own thoughts on one another.

Percy closed the door to his terraced house and hung his jacket on the coat hooks. The door to the living room was open and he saw Helen lying on the couch and watching a film. The door creaked and she looked up at Percy.

"Oh, you're in so much trouble Mister! You missed your curfew, it's 10.50pm! Where have you been?" she asked in a mocking motherly tone. Percy smiled at her.

"Bit rich coming from you." Percy grinned at her look.

"My my, is my Percy becoming more rebellious and staying out late? What is the world coming to?" she said again and laughed. "Want to watch the rest of the film with me?" she asked. Percy was about to refuse seeing as he had to work, but he had no chance to answer as Helen pulled him town onto the sofa with her.

"It's a really funny film. You see it's about this boy who wants to go to this really preppy university, but the guidance councillor mixes up his record with someone else's. He gets refused but then he goes up with his brother and girlfriend to go and fix the problem but it just keeps getting worse!" she said giving him the gist of the film. 

***

The next morning, Percy cursed himself for getting up later than usual. Now he was completely off schedule, and he hadn't even finished the work he was supposed to do yesterday. 'Why do I listen to her? Go to the pub, watch a film way into the night, and don't finish my work. That's just pitiful.' Percy thought to himself. Helen always seemed to be able to do that, make him procrastinate. Percy stumbled down the stairs and grabbed some toast.

"I'm going to work now Helen! See you later!" he shouted up at her. He received a tired grunt in reply. 'That's probably the most corrigible thing she has ever said in the morning.' Percy thought as he opened the door. He quickly walked to a deserted alley in which he apparated.

That morning was busy for Percy. His assistant Gwen had instantly rushed him to a meeting that morning, concerning some of the International Quidditch Teams coming over for the World Cup next year. He had to negotiate with the representative, who was frankly the most stubborn person he had ever met, with the exception of his mother.

 After a rather tiresome argument, the representative agreed to some terms Percy had provided. Percy was more than happy when the meeting was over. He went to his solitary office and collapsed in his chair. 'Damn the World Cup!' he thought angrily, as he rubbed his temples and closed his eyes. He was starting to get a headache, and you couldn't blame him as he had been provoked to stay up late, and he had to deal with a very un-cooperative representative.  Percy opened his eyes as he heard a flutter of wings fly in. Hermes stood by, letters for him to read and reply to.

"Thanks Hermes. If you go and see Gwen, she might have some owl treats." He smiled at his owl as he stroked its majestic feathers.

He was thankful to see that there weren't too many letters for him to read. Just three or so. One was from Helen, telling him that they were out of cheese and that she wouldn't be able to buy it since she was working on the night shift. He received a copy of The Daily Prophet and sure enough, he saw his little sister's article on page 2. It was about the recent feud about Auror's thinking they don't get paid enough. And the third letter was scrawled in a familiar scrawl. He opened it up.

_Hi Percy!_

_Are we still up for lunch today? I meant to ask yesterday but I completely forgot to ask! If not, it's no problem! Well, I'll talk to you soon! _

_Penny xxx_

Percy smiled. Penny always double checked things. But of course he'd meet her for lunch. It was at certain times he got a longer lunch break and today was one of those days, and he intended to make the most of it.

Lunch came and Percy walked down Diagon Alley to meet up at the café he always ate at with Penny. He saw her seated at their normal place, the outdoor table with the red umbrella. Penny was seated with her guide dog, Rufus. He gave a welcoming bark to Percy and wagged his tail. Penny instantly smiled as she felt his presence too.

"Hi Percy! How are you?" she asked and stood up to hug him. He hugged her back and sat down opposite her.

"I'm ok Penny. Just another stressful morning. With annoying representatives from other countries." Percy said offhandedly. She giggled.

"They're still worked up about the whole Quidditch World Cup? You should hear Warren talk about it. He really wants to see a Quidditch Match. He's going to end up being the biggest Quidditch fan." Penny smiling, her milky blue eyes shining.

"Oh speaking of Quidditch, you'll never guess who I bumped into yesterday when you left." Percy said as he looked at his menu.

"Enlighten me." 

"Oliver Wood."

"What?! You can't be serious!" Penny replied, eyes widened.

"It happened all right. Spilt my drink all over him. But he didn't seem to mind. We just caught up on old times." Percy said as he called waiter to their table.

"Oh? Old times huh? Did that include…"Penny started.

"Of course not!" Percy interrupted. She grinned.

"You really should have Percy." She said still smiling.

"Oh that would have been brilliant. 'Hi Oliver! Let's catch up on old times! Oh! By the way, did you know I had a crush on you back at school? No? Well, now you know! Now you can go away and be disgusted with me and never talk to me ever again!' That would be just delightful. And it was just a crush! I don't have it anymore." Percy ranted.

"Would you step off your soapbox and let me rant now?" Penny asked, still smiling. Percy chuckled.

"Honestly Percy. I'm sure you still like him. No matter what you say!" Penny told him.

The waiter finally came over and they ordered their drinks and their meal. There was a slight silence until Penny suddenly sat bolt upright with a look on her face. Percy knew that look, she was plotting something.

"Whatever it is, the answer's no." Percy said instantly.

"Oh come on Percy, it's not as bad as my past ideas!" Penny said with a smile. They remembered only too well how they had tried to make Oliver notice Percy.

"Bad? That's the understatement of the year." 

"No, this is just subtle really. Invite Oliver to your sister's party." Penny told him.

"What? Why?" Percy asked.

"Honestly, for a smart guy, you can be quite dense. This is only Plan A. Plan B will unfold at the party. With a little help from yours truly." She grinned. Percy sighed. Once Penny started plotting, there was no escape.

***

A/N: Hi everyone! Sorry for not updating in ages, but I haven't been able to due to exams coming up. But I'll try to post as often as possible!  Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter ! I wrote it when I had a sudden urge to write and this is what came out! Oh, and the film Percy and Helen watched was 'Orange County!' And the article Ginny wrote was base on the strike that Fire-fighter's in the UK are going on. Just to clear that all up. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the past chapter! I love ya!  Please R/R!

**Pippin: This is for you! I slaved away into ungodly hours to write this so I hope you like it!**


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